My Bridal Portraits (and the story of dress shopping)

Everybody I talked to about taking bridal portraits seemed to have an opinion one way or the other. It seems as though people either love them, or they think they are a waste of time. I personally LOVE bridals! Guys don't care about getting all dressed up and taking tons of pictures, so this gives the bride a chance to "show off" a little :) Also, it is a trial run through for hair, makeup, accessories, and of course… the dress! It would be terrible if the day of your wedding you decided you didn't like those earrings, your hair was too high, or your dress didn't lay just right. For all of these reasons, I decided to have bridals done! My other "must have" was to feel absolutely comfortable with my photographer! It is pretty tough to feel beautiful when you are nervous :) Therefore, I knew from day one that I wanted my best friends mom, who is also an awesome photographer, to take them!! (Thanks a million times over Jacque!!!) Kendra and I have been best buddies forever! So, of course Kendra was my maid of honor! That made taking pictures with her and our mom's that much more fun!! Julia, who is basically my second mother, is a lovely beautician, so she was in charge of hair & makeup :) My dad was just the innocent bystander that was forced into handling all of the ladies! 

When I thought about what kind of dress I would want, I was all over the place! I have always loved poofy, princessy ball gowns. I also LOVE fashion, so mermaid styles appealed to me. I knew I had to have bling! I also really love bows and flowers. …Like I said I was ALL OVER THE PLACE! :) That made dress shopping stressful and fun! I liked just about everything I tried on, but there was always something not quite right. The first place I went was Petals & Promises in Logan. I had seen a lot of their dresses at the Bridal Fair on campus, so I knew I liked their inventory. I walked through my sizes, and picked out a bunch of different styles to try on. When the lady started helping into them she said, "I have one on the sale rack that is in your size. I'm going to go grab it." Everyone knows how much I LOVE a deal!! When she started helping me into it, she says, "I don't know how you feel about this, but the bottom rips off to make a cocktail dress." AHHH I was soooooo excited!!!! Never in my wildest dreams did I think I could ever afford a dress like that!!! That was a very distant dream of a dress! On top of all of that, it had bling & flowers! I knew this would be a hit :) The only downside was it was ivory. I always thought I would want a WHITE dress. I loved everything else about it, so I tried it on. Even though I had liked everything so far, this was the first time I came out of the dressing room beaming! My mom knew right away that this was the dress! I told her my concerns: it was ivory, it was kinda tight, but worst of all…my best friend & maid of honor wasn't there to share the joy with me :( We decided to sleep on it. They agreed to hold it for 24 hours, but since it was on clearance that was the longest they would wait. Well it was a Saturday, so that meant 24 hours was Monday morning! I thought about it ALL weekend, kept looking it up online to critique even more. I called Kendra and told her all about it, and she helped me think through everything. I felt better having "shared" with her. In the end I decided it just wasn't right. I couldn't get over the ivory. 

Nearly two months later, my parents and family friend Nancy came to Logan for my confirmation. (Nancy was my sponsor :) I knew we had to go shopping again, and we were guessing Petals & Promises may have gotten some new styles in by now. Plus I wanted Nancy and my friend Hanky to see me in some dresses :) I went through my sizes again, and I picked out almost all of the same dresses! I go in the dressing room to start, and the same lady that helped me before was with another bride. She said to the gal helping me, "Hey that is my sale rack bride! We still have your dress!" (Yes she said MY DRESS!!! Was this a sign??) I couldn't believe that after two months on 50% off clearance it was still there! I said I want to try that on last because I already know I love it! I tried on a few others, and then I tried on a WHITE dress. I mean it was WHITE WHITE! It made me look like a ghost! That is when I realized nothing could compare to the ivory! It made my skin look golden rather than white. It was perfect! There was no reason not to love the ivory! My dress was absolutely perfect for me :)

When I came home from UT one weekend, my mom had a surprise for me! She had found my grandma's wedding dress in an old shadow box!! We had no idea we had it all of these years. It was very special for my mom and I. My grandma was tiny tiny, so there was NO WAY I would be trying that little thing on!! (Maybe my left thigh could have, but I wasn't about to chance it haha) We wanted to get a picture with all three generations of dresses in one picture! We knew we would get mannequins for my grandma's and my mom's, and I would wear mine. It was Jacque's idea to stage the picture as it is :) It was perfect!!! I love that I am looking back at them as if they might offer inspiration for me :) It was very special moment for me! 

Ever since I was a little girl I remember thinking about my mom's wedding dress. In my mind it was her dress. It was her style when she got married. I knew the "thing" was to wear your mother's wedding dress, but for me I always felt like that was weird. After all, it was HER dress. In my mind that was special to her and my dad on their wedding day, and I wanted the same for Josh and I on our wedding day. For as long as I can remember, I have known I wanted my own wedding dress, but I also knew that I wanted to take bridal portraits in my mothers wedding dress! It was very important to me that I get to put on her dress and have the memory for both of us. It just wasn't supposed to be on my wedding day. I am not sure how others feel about this, but for me it was very important! I knew exactly what I did and didn't want for our dresses :) When it came time to go shopping for a dress, my mom knew I wouldn't be wearing hers. It was almost like an unspoken agreement. She says she doesn't know why she kept it because she didn't expect me to wear it. But she did! That is when I told her I wanted to have portraits done in her dress too :) It was also very important to me that she didn't see me in it! I had tried on her dress one afternoon at home, but not while I was dressed up. I had our cousin Marge "entertain her" while I snuck away with Jacque & Kendra to take pictures. I planned to have them printed for her before she saw them, but life got in the way! Oh well. They are still special in our hearts :) 

This was honestly one of the best days ever! We had so much fun!!

"So how was prom?" ---how Janae' & Vanny became Josh & Janae' the high school sweethearts!

**Warning! This is a long story :) **

Our first picture together :)

I have been thinking about this post a lot lately, and I just couldn't get it off my mind. I was planning to wait until Thursday to post it as my next TBT, but I guess I will have to write something else :) I am not sure why this is so heavy on my heart lately, but I was just checking Facebook. I follow "The Duggers" from TLC's 19 Kids & Counting. Michelle writes blog posts responding to fan's question, and Guess What!?!? Today she wrote about her and Jim Bob's first date! I guess that was the last sign I needed that it was finally time to write about this moment. I have a million titles for this post, but "So how was prom?" has become our "pick up slogan". Josh and I have been together for nearly 6 years. I was thinking back on all of our memories together last night, and I suddenly realized we are exactly where we are supposed to be. Never in my wildest dreams would I think I would live in NC for any period of time. I especially didn't think I would live here..with my husband..for his schooling to be a Park Ranger. I believe that everything happens for a reason. God is in control of this crazy thing we call life, and whether or not we choose to accept that, he will put us where we need to be. That being said...I guess I should tell the story of how J & J went from Janae' ... & ... Vanny..... to Josh & Janae' the high school sweethearts! 

I had a tough time in junior high and high school. I am sure everyone feels that way, but of course hormones played an important role in my fate. I had a lot of up and down friendships. I basically "grew up" with the same 4 or 5 girls in my class since kindergarten. Living in a small town and attending a small school means you take what you can get when it comes to friends. I don't mean that in a bad way. I am VERY grateful for the friendships I have both long and short. What I do mean is that when my best friend didn't like me that day...my life was hell. Yes, my day and mood was based solely on who the popular girl would pick to be friends with that day. Of course she could only have one friend at a time! Anyways I finally found myself and decided I just needed to make new friends. I was miserable, and I wanted nothing more than to feel like somebody wanted me rather than me always begging for their attention. My sophomore year of high school I started hanging out with a new group of friends. Lexi & Amy came to my rescue in a sense. I finally had girls that accepted me for who I was. I didn't have to beg for their attention like I had previously. Also in that group of friends was Vanny (aka Josh), Briggs, Grant, and a few others that were in and out from time to time. For the most part it was the 6 of us that spent most of our time together. Briggs' house became the hang out for practically half of the high school, so we spent most of our time there. I had a crush on Vanny for a while, but he was the popular, funny kid. There was no way he would have an interest in me! However, as soon as Lexi & Amy found out, they came to my rescue. We suddenly started pulling little tricks to get Vanny & I closer. One day we were hanging out at Briggs' and we decided to all walk to the store and get ice cream. In the store the three of us girls decided we would link arms and "skip". Lexi & Amy would each grab Grants & Briggs' arms so that Vanny had to grab mine. It worked! We all walked arm in arm for a half a block or so, and then everyone dropped their arms and kept going... except Vanny! Ahh my dreams had come true! We just stayed arm in arm for the entire way home. We both talked about it later saying our arms were so stiff but we didn't want to let go! It was also prom time in West Yellowstone. When you are in a small school, prom is for the entire high school; 9-12th. Also, 8th graders can go if they are invited by a high schooler. (Yes i attended prom 5 times!) I started hinting to Vanny that I would like for him to ask me to prom. I would bring it up constantly! I finally decided I was getting no where, and flat out asked him if he wanted to go. Not in a serious, formal way. Just in conversation. He said no! He didn't like prom. He thought it was crazy expensive and just awkward because you had to dance with people you didn't like. I was devastated! I was banking on him being my prom date, so basically everyone else was already paired up! Thankfully one of my classmates wasn't. He asked me to go as a friend last minute, and I gladly accepted. (Even though I already had a dress...there was NO WAY I was going alone!) So, for one last move I asked Vanny to come to the Grand March. (The couples are announced in front of basically the whole town as they walk down a grand staircase. It's kind of a big deal in West!) I told him I really wanted him to see me all dressed up. (How could he resist me then! :) He agreed, and that was that! After my date and I walked down the stairs, he came over to say hi. He gave me a hug and said he liked my dress. We never let go of our hug. We stood with one arm around each other for the rest of the time! I felt really bad for my date standing awkwardly next to us, but I didn't care enough to want to let go :) The next morning I woke up to a text from Vanny, "So how was prom?" AHHHHHHH So he liked what he saw enough to want to talk about it! I was so excited! We talked ALL DAY!! We finally said goodnight around 2 am. Then the next day was the same!
My parents had gone out of town right after the Grand March. When they returned home I knew I needed to tell my mom. Which is really weird because I never told her anything about any boyfriends or crushes. For some reason, I knew this was different. Also, Vanny wasn't always the most well behaved kid ;) I knew if my parents thought I was sneaking around it wouldn't make matters any better. Anyways right when my mom walked in the door, hands full, I told her I needed to tell her something. She goes, "Uhhh right now?" I said, "Yes." So she set down the groceries and luggage. I said, "I have been texting a boy... a lot.... it's Vanny." That's it! I just dropped that bomb on my poor mom! She knew of him, but didn't know HIM. So, she said, "Well for how long? What kind of guy is he?" I responded with the typical... "Well we are just texting right now, and he is awesome! He is like the coolest person in school." I can't imagine what was going through her mind! My lovely big brother chimed in with incriminating comments about Vanny's past! I was so mad! Here I am trying to be honest with my mom, and my brother has to go and ruin it! We ended that conversation with, "Janae' let me just think about this for a while." What was I to do? Should I have hid the relationship from my mom? No! I knew this was something I wanted to be completely honest about. How could I convince her he was a good guy? That was the last of it until the next night. My mom said, "I want to let you know that I called Cindy. (Cindy is my aunt..Vanny and her son Justin are best friends). She said Vanny is a good kid, and that I have nothing to worry about. I am not saying I am encouraging anything here, but I want you to know that I would like to get to know him." Well that was the first step right!? I told her I would keep her in the loop, and if it got serious I would have him over for dinner. Yikes! Well, Vanny & I continued to talk nonstop, everyday for the next month. It was literally one month to the day that we were hanging out at Lexi's house. It was a Friday or Saturday, so my parents let me stay out late. We were watching movies and playing games. Vanny & I kept making excuses to talk to each other alone. Nothing naughty..just a few pecks :) I finally came out and said, "So does this mean we are official?" He said, "If you want it to be." I said, "Yes. I want it to be. :)" That was that! We were a couple! It became MySpace & Facebook official the next day! I was completely honest with my parents and told them about our first time holding hands, our first kiss, and our "official status" each step of the way. I told myself in the beginning that I wasn't hiding anything! After we became "official" my parents said, "OK he has to come to dinner now." Oh man! What was going to happen? He agreed, and it wasn't so bad. Nothing too scary. I think my dad asked what his intentions were but then giggled and said I'm just kidding. I am not sure who was more nervous that night, Josh or myself! Although I am sure my mom felt she should be in the running too :) As I have been thinking about his post for the past week or so, I am not sure what I felt at the time. For some reason I knew this was special, but I didn't know why or how far it would go. I never thought I would marry him! I thought for sure this was just a high school fling, and I wanted to have fun while it lasted. Looking back now, I know God had a plan for us. We are both completely different people than we were then! Neither one of us could have predicted were we would be today :)